i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
