3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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