I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
