I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
