idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
