I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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