I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
