i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
