is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
