I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
