So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize