What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
