yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
