you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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