too bad you live with your parents still
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
