idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
