Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's rum buckets o'clock
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
