btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No...this little piggys going to the bar
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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