Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
