why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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