He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
