I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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