I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
