love makes seman taste better
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
