He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
