were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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