She's the barista slut.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
