Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize