yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
