i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I understand Curling. That high.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
