yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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