i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize