6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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