Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just googled if crying burns calories
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Of course I have a pirate flag
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
