theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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