Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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