hotel room ftw
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
