That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
