Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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