He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
