Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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