Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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