dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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