it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
