she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
