Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
