She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
