Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
