I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Small penises have feelings too.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
