When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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