The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
