I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
