oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How does one acquire holy water?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
