every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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