don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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