As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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