Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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