Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
