I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
