there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
