Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
