Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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