I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am midnight drunk by noon
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
