He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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