Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
