She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
